


baby just take the chance to love me

by Nemotaco



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dan Howell - Freeform, Friends to Lovers, Hardcore Cuddling, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phil Lester - Freeform, Slight Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 01:33:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16567055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nemotaco/pseuds/Nemotaco
Summary: falling in love with your best friend isn’t easy.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> howdy! 
> 
> this is my first time actually writting something and completing it fully! thank you for reading:)
> 
> also pleaseeee leave constructive feedback if you wish i’d really appreciate it! xx

It’s not like he woke up one day and decided he wanted to be in love with Phil. It was nothing like that. The feeling came slowly through lingering touches and longing stares. it was when Dan had finally realized he was in love with Phil, that’s what made it a big thing.

It was a Tuesday morning, a little over a week since they came home from tour. There was no sense in urgency or productivity in the house, you can almost feel the energy of the laziness the second you step foot into the apartment. Their wardrobe has narrowed to pajamas and sweatpants and the cupboards are starting to empty out. Dan makes a mental note of that as he puts two slices of bread in the toaster and goes to stir Phil’s coffee he was currently making for him. The scent of coffee has always been something dan loved in the morning, but it was never something he needed to have to wake up, all it was for Dan was a quick splash of water on the face or doing some extra stretching. As on cue, Phil steps into the kitchen wearing his cookie monster pajama pants and an old t-shirt that Dan is 100% sure was originally his own.

“This is the earliest we’ve gotten up all week.” Phil mumbles as he leans against counter.

Iis it actually?” Dan glances at the microwave clock. “Oh wow, 1pm we have definitely improved.” With a sarcastic chuckle.

“I know right” Phil comments.The toaster finishes and Phil automatically goes to grab the toast. 

“I made coffee for you by the way. Do you want to watch food wars or something else…?” 

“Thank you for the coffee! let’s watch food wars, maybe it’ll inspire us to go grocery shopping today.” Phil chuckles as he grabs his coffee whilst holding the two pieces of toast in one hand and makes his way into the lounge. At least they’re both self-aware about the groceries. 

Dan’s first instinct is to follow behind but for some reason Dan felt struck looking at the body moving out of the room, the t-shirt on Phil was a slad bit tight and gives the ability to see Phils back muscles and the tightness the fabric has around the arms. The shirt could easily ride up his stomach if he stretched his arms above his head and all of the sudden Dan’s wondering what excuse he can pull of to get Phil-

‘Wait, what the fuck?’ Dan thinks mentally as his eyebrows scrunched together with confusion, that’s not something a friend would think about another friend.

friend

The thought replays in Dan’s head. Do friends imagine their future with each other and not with a significant other or children? Do friends keep eye contact after a conversation for longer than usual to the point where the tension is thick? Most importantly do friends think about their best buddy pulling a shirt over his head? 

“Dan are you alive in there?” Phil calls from the lounge.

“Coming!”

—

They curl up on their respective sides of the couch as they watch the anime show, Phil’s already got his laptop out and facing entirely away from Dan and Dan’s just… lost for words still, trying to focus on the tv and not the crumbs on the coffee table from the toast from earlier. The show is playing but Dan is still tense from the silence that’s not coming from him or Phil. they barely talk during the morning but today just felt… different. Like he was aware of Phil’s actions and everything he does. 

“Dan! I finally got the pictures from the photoshoot last week! Come check them out.” Phil says as he tilts his laptop screen down but makes no effort to actually move. 

“Can you like.. turn? I can’t see shit when you’re facing the laptop completely opposite from me.” Phil chuckles as he turns towards the tv, putting the laptop on the arm rest beside him and waiting for Dan to come closer. Dan budges over until his thigh is flush against feels, the warmth sends a spike through Dan’s body but dan just ignored it passing it off as his brain playing tricks. The photos turned out alright, it was a simple photoshoot for an upcoming event in the next few months, so it was basically just a green screen and the two boys. Phil continued to scroll through the photos, giving a long enough pause for any comments they want to make or just to stare.

“I like photo 14 and 25. I think they’d be perfect for the poster. Maybe even use 15 and 16 for bonuses? I don’t know what about you? How are you feeling about these?” Phil asked as he turned his head to glance at Dan. 

They made eye contact and for a second Dan panicked as the blue eyes bored into him like they always have. He didn’t understand why but tried to recover quickly by clearing his throat and trying to get his brain back on track. 

“I liked 15 and 16! I know 16 is a bit weird and we’re not even looking at the camera but it looks candid… I don’t know. I agree with you.” as Dan voices his thoughts Phil is scrolling up to the 16th photo. It was just them standing together making peace signs. They’re both looking slightly past the camera and off to the distance. Dan remembers that moment. One of the cameramen had knocked over a studio light as he was doing whatever they do at a photoshoot. His lips quirk up at the thought.

“Okay so 14 and 15 for the main photos? Then maybe 16 and 25 for the bonuses. Sounds good?” Phil asks as he’s already pulling up his notes.

Dan loves this. The telegraphic connection they totally didn’t have but sometimes it seems like they did. The way they learn to not only express their opinions but let themselves step into each others shoes to understand what they’re trying to make a point of. He loved that Phil just agreed to dan that the photo was good enough without even saying anything. Dan loves that he knows that if Phil had a problem with choosing that photo, that he’d speak up. Dan liked a lot about their friendship, he’s always had issues with being overly passive aggressive when it comes to miscommunications, but when it comes to Phil, he doesn’t even think of saying anything that could be defined as passive. 

His thoughts move to the side as Phil closes his laptop and places it on the coffee table and kicks his feet up beside it and leans back and starts finding a show for them to watch that they’ll actually focus on now. Phil’s still basically pressed up to Dan but Dan makes no effort to move over. It’s not it’s not like Phil was complaining or anything, so he leans back and relaxes a bit as well and lets himself go back to his thoughts as Phil pulls up a riverdale.

“New season! You ready fool?” Phil looks at him and smirks. He doesn’t give time for Dan to answer as he’s already pressing play and turning his head back to the tv. 

Dan can only count on one hand of the amount of “big fights” they’ve had throughout the 9 years they’ve been talking. Most of those fights were mostly related to Dan being too immature for his age to actually talk things out with Phil. Causing the hole to dig deeper. It had always ended with them hiding in their respective rooms for a few days, trying to avoid each other at all costs until one of them break. Three out of four times it had been Phil coming into his room at a god forsaken hour, it’s not like Dan would be asleep anyways. He would always be awake, thinking and writing of every feeling he had felt in those few days. But with the puppy dog eyes looking at him from the doorway all of his negative feelings had passed as he’d raise his bedsheets. Phil would gratuitously climb in. Both still on their own sides of the bed, but the energy had always felt forgiving and barely any words needed to be said as they fell asleep. Then life would go back to normal. 

‘Why am i even thinking about this anyways?’ Dan thought as he finally decided to actually focus on the show.

“What did you say?” Phil asks.

“Oh nothing. Sorry I didn’t mean to say that out loud.” He chuckles.

“Silly boy.” Phil murmurs, okay weird. “Start focusing on the show i’m not rewinding it for you.” He elbows Dan in the rib and that’s when Dan notices that they’re so close together to the point where Phil barely needed to move to make contact. 

Dan still didn’t move and they sat like that for the next two hours. Pressed against each other making silly comments on the show. They had made it through three episodes until Phil finally stood up stretched, his back cracking.

“Okay wow that was not what I expected.” Phil laughed to himself as Dan decided to lean forward and pause the show.

“Get ready now. We’re leaving in 20.” And that’s all Phil said as he walked away. Dan sat up right away and followed Phil down the hallway to their rooms. 

Dan loved that their so called “brain powers” kicked in. Dan loved that he already knew where they were going and he didn’t even have to ask. Dan then decided that he loves this new concept he’s discovered, ‘loving’ something you’ve never thought to notice before. 

—

“Why did we chose today to go? It’s bloody freezing.” Dan complained as he shoved his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. The chilly autumn weather had finally hit London and there was still another 10 minutes before they make it to the grocery store.

“Actually Dan, the real question is why did the universe decide that we had to run out of food on this day?” Phil was dressed nice today Dan noticed, he had his black jumper over a red t-shirt and his nice bomber jacket. Dan looked down to their shoes and noticed that Phil was wearing his white vans, and even though that’s Phil wears most of the time, he still feels excitement pass through him because god damnit his friend looked cute today and he’s not afraid to admit it. 

Wait what did Phil say? 

“Phil you weirdo, I don’t think it’s the universes fault that our mouths can’t stay closed.” 

“Good point Danny.” Dan watched the flash of Phil’s grin from the corner of his eye. Dan tries his absolute hardest not to smile or laugh because Phil knows damn well that Dan hates that nickname. But Dan let’s his guard down and starts snickering, turning away so Phil doesn’t see. ‘Don’t get a reaction Dan. You’re better than this.’

He still senses Phil’s eyes trained on the side of his head so he decided to peer over to him, trying to hide the smile on his face. But oh god Phil’s bright contagious smile has its ways and Dan feels his mouth turn upward into a matching grin.

“God I hate you sometimes Phil.” He shakes his head. Phil just laughs once more then it falls to the comfortable silence that Dan realizes he loves.

The grocery story was a bit busy. Every two seconds there’d be something or someone in the road of their shopping cart. Phil of course had offered to push the cart around. Dan watched as Phil was visibly getting stressed, people kept stopping in front of them with no warning and making Phil almost ram into their backside.

“Phil, let me push the car around okay?” he already goes to shove Phil out of the way, and Phil moves to the side before he mumbles a “thank you.” And Dan loves that he can sense when something’s off about Phil. 

With Dan pushing the cart, it was a bit more relaxing as Dan had always been better with being assertive, saying excuse me when people get in the way or just bluntly makes it clear that someone had been talking up the whole aisle. That’s always been a trait Dan had been proud of and he’s glad he has enough to support the two of them. 

The rest of the shopping trip goes okay, they had run into two fans about half-way through. Phil was still anxious and Dan just out on his energetic face and hoped it made up for Phil’s lack of it. Phil ended up staying close by his side for the remainder of the trip. 

They were walking home now, the sun was starting to set and they had decided to have curry for dinner. The air had become chillier and the grocery bags in his hands had made it impossible to warm them up. He looked over and had a feeling Phil was going through the same predicament. 

Your hands cold?” He asks.

“Yeahhhh” Phil mumbles. “Wait how’d you know?” 

“I don’t know. My hands are cold too though.” Dan loves how he knows.

“I’m sorry I can’t help.” phil pauses. “we will be home in about 5 anyways.”

‘Help? What is he going to do hold my hand?’ Dan thinks. Then realizes how he’d enjoy that right now. Phil’s warm fingers laced through his own, their palms pressed together as their arms would swing to the rhythm. Dan shakes his head and blames it on the fact that his fingers are about to fall off. 

Phil sighs and Dan decided to glance at him for the first time in a while, he’s looking up at the tall buildings and the glow of the luminescent lights are reflecting through his eyes and Dan just.. watches. The way Phil’s eyes are exploring the sight in front of him was more eventful then him himself looking at the sight that’s also in front of his eyes. it was then that phil finally sensed the gaze and snapped his head towards Dan and met his eye contact. The lights weren’t reflecting anymore but he still couldn’t break the eye contact. Dan decided he loves the colour of Phil’s eyes. 

“Dan? are you o-“

“You’re eyes are so pretty.” Dan blurts out then smacks his mouth shut and looks down at his feet as he feels the warmness spread through his cheeks. What the fuck? 

“Dan.” His voice is soft and warm, but Dan doesn’t dare look at him as he starts.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t even mean to say that out loud. I can’t believe I said that to you can you please just for-“

“Dan.” Phil beckoned again. They were now stopped outside of their flat. Dan feels his dignity fly out the window and snap it’s neck. He looks up but can’t find himself wanting to look into those eyes again. Why was Dan afraid? This was Phil, his best friend for the past 10 years. He looks at the pillar beside Phil’s head instead. 

“Dan, you weirdo look at me.” And that’s when Phil drops the bags that were once in his left hand and reaches up and grabs Dan’s chin and forces Dan to make eye contact. Dan gasps at the sudden coldness and then gasps once more as those pretty eyes bore into his own, searching for something. Phil opens his mouth as if he was going to say something then lets go of his face and goes to pick up the bags again, breaking the eye contact and starts heading towards the door. 

 

“Thank you. your eyes are pretty as well Dan. I hope you know that.” He mutters as he opens the door and starts heading up. It takes Dan a solid 10 seconds to start moving again. “Okay okay okay okay okay okay why what why what ???????”  
Was all that Dan’s brain could muster up as he was left staring at phil’s back as they walked through the front door, stopping to pull off their shoes. Then walked down their narrow hallway in the kitchen. They silently put away their groceries.

Dan couldn’t tell if the tension in the air was normal or not, and for the first time in a while Dan felt insecure and uneasy for not being able to decipher what it was, and most importantly that it was his fault that whatever this is, is all his fault as well. Dan involuntarily flinches at the thought as he’s putting a can of soup on the top shelf, the flinch causes his hand to jerk and the can goes flying to the ground and rolling over to where Phil was. 

Phil picked up the can and went to hand it back to Dan without saying anything, as Dan walked forward and reached out his arm, preparing to say thank you in the calmest voice he could muster, Phil pulled the can of soup out of Dan’s reach and stepped toward. 

For almost a split second Dan thought Phil was going to do something that Dan has declared he is not allowed to think about anymore. Phil just leans near his ear and whispered.

“You need to stop overthinking.” And walked straight passed him to put the can where Dan was originally trying to place it.

“I’m so-“

“Dan, seriously shut up or I’ll slap you so hard you’ll forget how to breathe. Do you want to pull up the recipe for the curry?” Phil smirks in that evil way he always does when he talks back.

“I-I’m, yeah okay I’ll find it.” Dan stutters, evidently startled by what Phil says, but internally feels grateful that Phil eased the tension quickly. He loves how Phil can do that.

—

Dinner was made with comfortable banter and everything went back to normal. Phil suggested they ate at the dinner table rather than sitting in the lounge because why waste $300 on a table they never use anymore? 

They’re sat beside each other both browsing through their phones, occasionally tilting the phone to show each other a meme of some sort. Dan will admit that today was a tad bit stressful but other then that, a pretty lazy day for the two of them but he still couldn’t help feeling excited to crawl back up in his bed. He forks up the last bit of food on his plate and slams back the rest of the ribina he had in his cup. 

“You’re in a rush to leave.” Phil states.

“I’m excited to go to fucking sleep.” Dan tells him as he picks up Phil’s already finished plate and goes over to the sink to wash the dishes. Phil stands up and starts rinsing the plates. Dan could already sense the whiny voice Phil was about to pull, and he kind of loved how he knew that it was coming. 

“But Dannn I want to watch that scary movie we’ve been planning on watching for months now! It’s practically halloween why aren’t we watching it.” Phil whines and Dan can’t help but smirk.

“But Phillll” Dan mocks Phil’s precious town and chuckles at Phil’s frown he’s got on his face now. “I’m so excited to go and climb into my bed, I’ve been thinking about it since this morning. Watch it alone or something.” As Dan finishes up the washing, he moves over to the other side of Phil and starts drying the dishes.

“What the fuck no! Do you think I have the mental capacity to watch that movie alone? I’m not a freak. Please Dan we can even watch it in your room or something.” Phil begs childishly.

“Are you saying you want to have a sleepover?” They finish up the dishes and they both start walking towards the lounge.

“I mean… sure? Let’s do it. I’ll be in your room in 10 minutes, and also my mom needs to talk to your mom before this becomes an actual plan.” Phil jokes as he walks away.

Dan chuckles and finds himself in the lounge alone, one of the first times he has truly been alone all day today. The memories of outside of their flat comes back into his mind but per usual, he ignores them and goes straight for their laptops to bring back to his room.

Dan sets the laptops on his nightstand as he finds something cozy to wear, usually he only sleeps in his pants but for one, it’s cold and two, Phil’s sleeping in his bed tonight and it would be weird being basically naked with your friend beside you.

phil’s sleeping in his bed tonight 

A thought that runs through Dan’s head. He feels like panic flare but shoves it back down in his thoughts. He loves how he can do that. Anyhow, why would Dan be stressed out that his best friend is sleeping in the same bed as him? They’ve done it before. 

Dan makes a mental note to stop making himself stressed out.

Phil comes into the room wearing his cookie monster pajama pants again and his undertale shirt. He’s also carrying his green and blue duvet behind him. 

“Can you turn up the heat please? I’m going to fucking freeze tonight I can sense it.” Phil says as he goes to lay in Dan’s bed. wrapping his own duvet around him as he goes straight under Dan’s covers as well. Dan realizes he should probably stop staring and start moving. So he runs into the bathroom and brushes his teeth, turning on the heat as he heads straight for the bed. Phil had already grabbed Dan’s laptop and pulled the show up.

He loves that Phil knows his passwords.

He loves that he trusts Phil with his passwords.

He loves that he trusts him.

His thoughts are cut off. “Here I have an idea that you’re going to love, move up for me will ya.” Phil says as they both lean forward. First, he props the pillows up better so they weren’t lying flat on the bed, which Dan curses at himself for not doing bag before. He then maneuvers his duvet behind him and Dan, creating a really comfy back rest. Dan instantly feels himself shoving closer to Phil to get more of the blanket behind him. 

“Good idea Philip.” 

“I know right, you ready?” Phil asks.

“Yes. Wait- no. I forgot to turn off the lights hold on.” Dan passes the laptop to Phil and hauls himself out of the bundle of warmth and feels the coldest hitting his skin.

“Hurry up Dan your body warmth is what’s keeping me alive and thriving.” Phil says. and honestly, Dan can feel the confusing thoughts racing to his head but he decides to focus on the coldness and the fact that he’s basically running back to the bed. He’s slides in and manages to get himself flush against Phil’s side. he’s been through this once, he can do it again.

The laptop gets propped up on each of their thighs and the movie starts. It was a fairly dark movie and Dan felt the anxiousness swell. Luckily the next scene was outside on a sunny day and Dan felt himself sighing in relief. He glanced at Phil to see if he was still alive and yeah, he may have gotten struck again.

Dan didn’t know how to explain it, but the artificial lights from the screen made Phil’s eyes look like a faint dark blue. It was beautiful. Dan looked away before Phil could catch him like he did already.

Not even a few seconds later he feels Phil’s arm lean into his and a soft.

“You doing okay?” Oh. So he did notice him.

“Yeah, I’m fine sorry.” He replies and prays Phil doesn’t press on.

“Oh okay.” 

“What?”

“I just thought you were looking at my pretty eyes again.” They were both still looking at the movie but Dan feels like Phil saw the gasp that came out of his mouth.

“Phil-“

“What?” He turns towards Dan.

“Nothing. nevermind.” He can feel Phils stare at his now red-toned face, he can only grit his teeth together in embarrassment. Phils face turns back to the screen and they finally watch the movie in silence.

You see, scary movies has always been a guilty pleasure for the both of them. The cliche pop-ups that even a 6 year old can predict still get them jumping and for Dan, screaming. Dan didn’t know why he liked horror movies but decided that he loved how Phil and him loved scary movies. 

In this particular movie, they had done a very good job in making it original. The intense moments had Dan almost shaking. Right then they director decided to add a pop-up. Just as Dan was half watching and not expecting anything. They both jump but Dan yelps as his hands go straight over his eyes. He could almost say it knocked the wind out of him.

The movie kept playing as Dan started peering through his fingers, then looking over at Phil and saw the cheeky smile he had on his face. Dan wanted to rip it off. 

“Not funny.” Dan says as he takes his hands off if his face.

“Catch ya at your most vulnerable state?” Phil asks.

“Yeah..” Dan half sighs, he loves how Phil knows exactly what happened.

Phil somehow presses his side closer into Dan’s and leans his head on Dan’s shoulder which he finds is really comfortable. 

’Is this weird?’ Dan thought to himself. He didn’t care, tonight he just doesn’t care he declares. and the puts his head on top of Phil’s.

The movie is drawing to a close and Dan finds himself not wanting to move, he tilts his head up and notices that Phil’s eyes are becoming a bit droopy. He gently shuts the laptop closed but doesn’t move an inch.

“We didn’t finish it.” Phil slurs.

“You’re half asleep and it’s pretty obvious how it ends anyways.” Phil just hums back in response. Dan tries his hardest to put the laptop on the nightstand without Phil pulling back. He successfully puts it back but the realizes that it’s probably weird that he’s still pressed beside Phil, so he starts to move to turn over but Phil’s whimpering and wrapping an arm around Dan’s waist, keeping him in place.

“Don’t go.. ‘s cold.” And there’s no way Dan can’t say no to the request so he stays on his back but slumps down onto the pillows and hopes Phil is doing the same. He does… kind of. 

Phil turns to his side and props his elbow up. Opening his eyes and meets Dan’s. 

“You’re eyes are way prettier than mine by the way, they’re like chocolate diamonds.” And before Dan even has time to respond, Phil’s dropped his elbow and slides down, not even hesitating as he puts his head the crook of Dan’s neck and wraps a hand over his waist. 

“Night pretty eyed boy.” Was the last thing Phil said before he passed out. 

Dan, alone, in the dark, with a cuddly Phil wrapped to his side. There was no way he could escape the thoughts now. Dan can’t help but notice how he is laid out, his arms awkwardly crossed over his chest and if anyone walked into the room right now, it would like super weird.  
The warmth that radiates from beside him seems inviting so he tries and moves his arm under Phil and stretches it around phils body.

It was comfy at first, but after a few minutes Dan could start to feel the uncomfortable pressure and he’s already done so much that he feels too insecure to move his arm back. He tries to readjust but accidentally jerked his arm up, he stops moving suddenly and he can’t tell if he’s hoping for Phil to wake up and move or scared that when he wakes up cuddly Phil will be gone.

Phil does start breathing in a different pattern and Dan’s first instinct is to shut his eyes and pretend he was asleep Phil’s head lift up and Dan swears he can feel the pair of eyes on him. He expects Phil to move to the other side of the bed or even to his own room and he suddenly wonders if he should have kept his eyes open. But then, he feels Phil throw his leg over Dans thigh and the hand around his waist pulling himself further into Dan. He presses his face right into Dan’s neck and then there is a quiet hum of content. The younger tries so hard to relax, trying to push the thoughts that are firing at him rapidly but he just doesn’t understand why he needs to. 

There’s faint squeeze on Dan’s hip and as his eyes shoot open from the scare, Phil soothes over where he squeezed and whispers.

“Relax.” In the most calming tone Dan has never heard from him before, and to say the least Dan relaxes as he curls into Phil and falls asleep instantly.


	2. Chapter Two

When Dan woke up the following morning, confusion was his first emotion. In the past 27 years of his life he can count on one hand how many times he had been held like this, in bed. Most of those times were out of pure comfort after a serious incident, it’s never been like this, and Dan was confused on why he can’t remember why someone would be in his bed. All he could feel under him was a soft body, his leg swung over a foreign one and one arm wrapped around his waist and one arm near his head where there was a hand playing with the his curly hair. It was comforting say the least, but there was a sense of panic bubbling in his chest and his thought process must have finally kicked in because there was one word hitting him from every direction.

Phil 

The panic transformed into some kind of monster and Dan could feel so much emotions hit him at once and thoughts came flying at him and as his breathing started to quicken in short huffs his memory went back to on word that was said last night. 

“Relax.” Back to the soothing tone of someone who has been there with him through thick and thin. Dan’s wall starts to crumble down and he feels himself relaxing back into Phil, trying to ignore what this all meant and why it was happening and trying harder to focus on the way Phils hand was so gentle going through his hair. He snuggles into his neck a little more then, and tries to not make it obvious that he’s trying to get closer to Phil. The hand in Dan’s hair stops and moves down to his back. He so desperately wants to open his eyes and stare into those eyes he’s been thinking about so often, but when he’s about to open them he feels the anxiety wash through him again and it almost feels like his eyelids had been stapled shut and the fear of losing everything washes through him. No. He will open his eyes.

He does, and to his enjoyment he doesn’t lose everything, but what his does see knocks the wind out of him. It’s just Phil, but something about him looks and feels so different to Dan. He’s already looking down at Dan, lower than his eyes. Dan’s lip part at the awareness that they are being stared at and Phil’s gaze rises and they make eye contact. Dan decides that he loves the way he feels.

“Good morning.” Phil lazily smiles.

“Mornin.”

“Isn’t it funny how we fell asleep the other way around isn’t it?” Phil chuckles to himself as he places his hand back into Dan’s locks and starts twirling strands of hair. Dan feels his eyes shut and just hums in response. Why isn’t this weird replays in Dan’s head.

“Why isn’t this weird Phil?”

“Oh. I don’t know. I enjoy it though.” 

“Me too. I enjoy it a lot.” Dan replied, and he loves that they feel the same way. He pulls himself closer to Phil to the point where his face is basically pressed up into the crook of Phil’s neck. His lips softly swipe alone his neck and he can feel Phil gasp. Dan feels confidence from somewhere in him begin to show through.

“Why were you looking at my lips earlier Phil?” Dan says as he purposely presses his lips against his neck as he speaks. 

“Why?” Phil squeaks.

“Why what?” 

“Why do you want to know? What’s it to you?” There’s the joking tone Dan hasn’t heard for a while.

“Answer me Phillip before I bite your neck like a vampire.” Dan obnoxiously hisses to prove his point. Phil giggles and Dan is confused on why this isn’t awkward or weird. 

“They look pretty, like your eyes.” Phil torts back.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Silence lingers a while after that, not awkward or uncomfortable just a peaceful silence as Dan’s breath hit Phil’s throat as the hand in his hair keeps moving. Dan so desperately craved to press a kiss to Phil’s neck but decided against it. It’s confusing, what’s going on right now, it’s definitely different. Something that’s been heavy on their backs for the passed nine years. Dan’s thoughts slow down again as the sun now peaks through the blinds. The realization of how early it was seems to hit them at the exact same time.

“It’s only early morning? This is the first time I’ve seen the sun rise in months.” Phil stats. Dan just hums in agreement, causing a vibration to pass onto Phil’s neck. He then craned his neck, giving Dan more access, but for what?

“I thought I was the one with the neck kink.” Dan throws at Phil. 

“Oh so it’s a kink? I thought you hated people touching your neck because it felt weird.” 

“God no, I just don’t want to get aroused when it happens. Also stop changing the subject and answer me rat.” 

“It’s nothing, just felt nice is all.” Phil says, his neck goes back to where it was before and Dan feels a tad bit of discouragement, wishing he’d not ask that question but just initiated what hung in the air.

“Fuck it.” Dan whispers. He then shoves his head in the crook of Phil’s neck, forcing him to crane his neck like it had been before. Then started to press closed mouth kisses up and down Phil’s neck. the hand in Dan’s hair halts and instinctively grabs a patch of hair.

“Oh.” Phil says, for a split second Dan was scared that maybe he’s read the situation wrong but the voice in the back of his head helps him realize that Phil’s enjoying this. So he keeps going. Sloppier kisses every time. The hand in Dan’s hair tugs his head closer to his neck and Dan automatically groans. 

“Fuck. Wait Dan.” Phil’s head suddenly tips forward and Dan moves his head back.

“What?” Both of Phil’s hands go to cup Dan’s face. One of the hands go by his chin and the fingers go to trace Dan’s soft lips. He sighs.

“What is happening?” Phil asks.

“I don’t know Phil.” Dan mumbles.

“Are you scared?”

“No. I feel comfortable, why do you?”

“No. I feel fine but what does this mean.” Their eyes meet and the truth pours through them.

“Fuck.” Everything hits Dan at once.

“Dan.. How long?” 

“Fuck.” Again. 

“Dan?” 

“I think I am in love with you. Wait no I don’t think, I know I’m in love with yo-“ Phil cuts Dan off

“How long Dan.”

“Shut the fuck up and let me talk.” He jokes. Then realizes this probably isn’t the best time to be like this so he kisses Phil’s thumb in a silent apology.

“I love the way you are. And I love the way that we’re comfortable with each other. I love the way we can express our feelings without it being weird. I love the way we help each other out. There’s a lot of things I love and they all connect to you, I fucking love you Phil. I love that I can say I love you.” Dan feels his eyes get watery, he takes a deep sigh. “And I don’t know how long I’ve loved you, probably since we first met. When I first realized I loved you was about… 5 minutes ago.” He swears he can see Phil’s eyes twinkle.

“Fuck.” Phil says. 

“Phil you can’t just steal my line.”

“We’re too old for this shit.” The hands on his face grip a bit harder.

“Stop swearing. You can have the dirtiest mouth I swear.”

“Yeah. You should see me in bed.” Phil jokes but Dan doesn’t find it funny.

“What the fuck Phil!” Dan’s eyebrows scrunch in fake disgust. “You’re suppose to say sappy shit like I love you or kiss me or something! You suck at this.”

“Fine Dan. I love you.” There’s a serious tone to Phil’s voice. 

“Really? Prove it.” 

Their lips meet each other halfway. Dan feels everything melt inside him. This is home. This is how it feels to have butterflies. Dan loves the way Phil’s lips feel against his, they both meet the same urgency as their hands grip to feel each other, learn each other, love each other. Dan loves that they are in love. 

—

It’s not like he woke up one day and decided he wanted to be in love with Phil. It was nothing like that. The feeling came slowly through lingering touches and longing stares. it was when Dan had finally realized he was in love with Phil, that’s what made it a big thing.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!


End file.
